


Forgot We Tied the Knot

by papersandals (laronmi)



Category: Tales of Vesperia
Genre: Accidental Marriage, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/F, Humor, M/M, Marriage Proposal, popcorn.gif
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-28
Updated: 2019-05-28
Packaged: 2020-03-26 07:01:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,177
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19000747
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/laronmi/pseuds/papersandals
Summary: An innocuous comment leads Yuri and Flynn to remember they accidentally got married two years before they started dating. They never got a divorce. Stupidity ensues.





	Forgot We Tied the Knot

**Author's Note:**

> One day I'll write something other than moderately well written crack, I swear.
> 
> I have no idea how many chapters this will be, or how quickly I'll be able to churn them out. Tags will be updated as I go. The Ristelle will hit in the next chapter. This is the only chapter that will take place in the past.

_**THEN** _

Yuri woke up feeling like an elephant sat on his head overnight and used its trunk to stuff his mouth full of sandpaper. He tried swallowing, but his mouth was so dry and that it hurt to do so. With great reluctance, Yuri opened his eyes, winced at the solitary beam of light that just had to hit the mirror in their hotel room, and groaned as he tried to run his hands through his hair. 

Tried being the operative word. His attempt was blocked by a swathe of cheap, white, nylon lace. He grabbed it, tugged it out from beneath his back and out of his mouth — that explained the sandpaper feeling — then bundled it up and threw it to side. It didn't go far, being made of lace, but it still managed to flutter on top of Flynn's head.

At least, Yuri thought it was Flynn. The back of the head looked to be like Flynn's, but Flynn wasn't the type of person to sleep on the floor, no matter how smashed he'd gotten. The Flynn creature made a groaning, creaking sort of sound, way higher in pitch than anything Yuri had ever heard come out of Flynn's mouth before. Yuri watched the Flynn creature stir, hoping with all his might that it was Flynn and not some weird dog they found wearing a wig and Flynn's shirt. Or, god, even worse, some other blond guy that Yuri picked up and was now wearing Flynn's shirt. Yuri would rather deal with the fleas and rabies.

The Flynn creature rolled over to his back and, to Yuri's immense relief, turned out to be Flynn after all. The lace rolled with him, falling on his face a clump of sad, crumpled nylon netting, and Flynn let out a groan-creak again. He batted at the lace ineffectively, then tried to lift his head. He got a few centimeters off the ground before his head hit the floor again with a concerning thunk.

"Hey," Yuri rasped, wishing that he had the foresight last night to conk out near a bottle of water, "are you okay?"

Flynn let out a half-wheeze, half-groan. "Why am I on the floor," he said. Or, at least, that's what Yuri assumed he said. What actually came out of Flynn's mouth was, "Wem aflor."

Yuri tried to sit up. Yuri decided that sitting up was a terrible idea. Yuri laid back down. "How much did we drink last night?"

"Idun," said Flynn. "Ering hurts."

The lace was still on Flynn's face. Yuri stared at it for a second before his head pulsed with pain. "Damn it, Flynn," he complained as he closed his eyes and threw an arm over them to keep the light out, "you're supposed to be the responsible one. How the fuck did you let this happen."

"S'not my fault," Flynn said. "Why's sleeping on the floor so awful?"

"You get used to it."

"I dun wanna. Ugh." Yuri heard him move, followed by the sound of a limb or two dropping back to the floor with a thump. "Why are you wearing a dress?"

That was enough to get Yuri to open his eyes again. "What?" He lifted his head and looked down, squinting at what he was wearing. It was white. "This isn't a dress. It's a slip."

Flynn hadn't managed to get up, but he did get the lace off his face. He rolled over and was laying on his side to face Yuri. "Why are you wearing it?"

Good question. Yuri didn't remember. "Dunno. I'm still wearing clothes underneath it. Where the hell did we go?"

There was a worryingly vacant expression on Flynn's face. Yuri was in too much pain to care. "I don't...remember..."

"I need some fucking painkillers," Yuri said in response. He tried sitting up again, but didn't even make it as far as he did the last time. "Flynn," he whined, "I know you have stuff in your bag."

Flynn groaned again. "All my joints hurt," he said, but he pushed himself up anyway, wincing the entire time. "How do you sleep like this?"

"You get used to it." Yuri closed his eyes again.

Yuri heard Flynn shuffle around for a moment, but then the sound stopped. "There are rose petals all over the place," he said.

"Drugs," Yuri yelled. His throat hurt from the attempt, and he winced. "And water," he added in a softer rasp.

Flynn shuffled around a bit more, probably picking up whatever was scattered across their room because he was an insufferable neat freak. After what seemed like too long, Yuri felt Flynn's foot poke him in the thigh, and he opened his eyes. He required some help to sit up and stay up, but getting the glass of water to his mouth was no problem at all. Yuri took a few sips to wet his mouth and throat before taking the painkillers. Flynn swallowed his pills dry because he was a freak.

When the relief wasn't imminent, Yuri sighed and began to fall over again, but Flynn grabbed him by the shoulder and pulled him up.

"Come on," he said, slipping his arms underneath Yuri's pits and lifting him to a standing position. He sounded and acted way too put together for someone who had passed out on the floor and couldn't even talk right a few minutes earlier. Yuri hated him a little. "We have to check out of this hotel room by noon, and our flight out is at one-thirty. We need to pack and clean."

"You do it," Yuri said. He went limp to increase Flynn's struggle. "I'm not good at packing anyway."

Flynn grunted as he dragged Yuri towards the bed. "Then you can clean."

"I'm even worse at cleaning."

"Our flight leaves in three hours," Flynn said, then threw Yuri sideways onto one of the beds. "Our hotel room is a mess, we haven't packed, and I don't know where my charger is. Make yourself useful."

Yuri sighed and leaned into the mattress. It really was a comfortable bed, even though it was covered with wilted rose petals for some reason. "All right, all right. But I'm waiting for the drugs to kick in first."

That was good enough for Flynn, who puttered around the room while Yuri closed his eyes again. He tried to focus on the sound of Flynn cleaning and packing instead of the pulsating pain in his brain. Every once in a while, Flynn would warn Yuri to not fall asleep, to which Yuri responded by grunting at hm. When his brain felt like it was no longer trying to escape from his head, he opened his eyes again and sat up. The slip had bunched up uncomfortably around his torso, so he pulled it over his head and tossed it aside.

He turned around to look at the bed. Drunk Yuri last night had decided to upend the contents of his luggage on the bed for some unfathomable reason. There were rose petals mixed in with them, and Yuri sighed wearily before starting to shake them out. He slapped his things back into his luggage afterward, not having the energy to care about folding them. He could feel Flynn cringing at his packing, but Yuri didn't care. When he had most of his stuff in the luggage, he zipped it up and rolled it over to make sure he hadn't missed anything. That was when he found the marriage certificate.

Yuri stared at the marriage certificate. The marriage certificate continued to exist. Yuri blinked a few times. The marriage certificate did nothing in response.

Yuri reached for it with hesitation, desperately hoping that there would be a line about the certificate being a fake of some sort, but it looked real and legal enough. There were signatures and stamps filling in blank spaces on the otherwise dull, legal looking document. There was something paperclipped to it as well, and it was a document with even more legalese on it that turned out to be a marriage license. 

"Flynn," Yuri said, trying to keep the panic out of his voice, "I think we got married last night."

There was a crash from the hotel bathroom. Yuri slid off the bed as Flynn burst back into the room. " _What?!_ "

Yuri waved the certificate and the license around. "We have a certificate and a license. Hey, Mr. Law School," he added, trying for a joke but failing the execution because his voice cracked, "this isn't actually a legal document, is it?"

Flynn half ran towards Yuri with wide eyes and grabbed the papers out of his hands. His eyes widened even more as he read through it. "Oh, god."

"Please tell me it's a joke document."

"It's not a joke document."

"Can you just tell me it is anyway?!"

Flynn looked up from the document and straight into Yuri's eyes. "We have to get this annulled." He turned his head to look at the clock on the nightstand between the beds. With a voice laden with despair, he added, "We don't have time to get this annulled."

There was something about that statement that scratched at Yuri's nerves, but he didn't have time to unpack what it was. "Can't we annul it when we got back?"

"It's easier if we went back to the place where it was issued and talked to them about it." Flynn scanned the document. "We were drunk last night; they had to have noticed it. If we go back, we can probably get it annulled. If we wait, we have to file for a divorce." Flynn laughed, and his laughter was tinged with hysteria. "We really don't have time to go back. This place is an hour away."

"Then we'll file for a divorce," Yuri said, impressed at himself by how much calmer he sounded than he actually felt. "It's just more paperwork, right? I can live with that."

"You don't understand," Flynn said, and he dropped the certificate and license and covered his face with his hands. "If we get a divorce, the marriage will still have existed and it'll be in our records. We have to get this annulled, because then it will struck from the records."

There were plenty of responses Yuri could have given him. Somehow, Yuri chose one of the worst possible ones. "What, is being married to me that awful?"

Flynn lifted his head up and stared Yuri dead in the eyes, mouth agape and expression frozen. Yuri wasn't much better, too shocked by being caught off guard by his own statement to say anything else.

The two of them remained like that for an uncomfortably long beat. The hotel room was well insulated from any sound on the outside, and even the hum of the AC had died down. The single beam of sunlight combined with the sterile fluorescent lighting washed out all the color in the room. Every one of Yuri's senses was hyper focused on Flynn.

Then, slowly, Flynn lowered his arms, eyes still locked to Yuri's. "It's not awful," he said slowly. Yuri felt a viperous sense of dread slowly uncoil itself and rise from deep inside his belly. "But this isn't— I didn't want it to—"

Flynn's back pocket vibrated, and then a loud, persistent beeping started blaring from his phone. 

The two of them jumped, and Flynn reached back and fumbled for his phone, jabbing at his screen with more force than was necessary to turn the alarm off. He stared at it in stunned silence for a while, which Yuri was extremely grateful for.

The opportunity to change the subject couldn't be wasted. Yuri cleared his throat. "So, what was that alarm for?"

"It's a reminder to leave," Flynn said weakly, still staring blankly at his phone. "We have an hour until check out."

"Shit," Yuri said, then grabbed his luggage and, after a brief moment of hesitation, the marriage certificate that had fallen onto the ground. He shoved it into one of the front pockets of his luggage and yanked it off the bed. "Come on, I'm almost done. Let's get out of here before we miss our flight home."

Flynn looked up from his phone, expression inscrutable. "Yuri."

Yuri stood up, luggage in hand, and began looking around the room. "What? You were the one up my ass about missing our flight earlier. Come on, get a move on! Do you have all your stuff yet or not?"

"Yuri," Flynn said again. Yuri almost pulled the entire nightstand drawer out of the nightstand. 

"Hey, I found your charger."

"Yuri!" Flynn grabbed his arm. Yuri tried to shake him off, but Flynn's grip was firm. "Being married to you isn't awful."

"For fuck's sake," Yuri muttered, yanking his arm out of Flynn's grasp with all of his strength and nearly toppling into the other bed in the process. "Let's go already!"

He power walked out the door and into the hallway, uncaring if Flynn was following behind him or not.


End file.
